It’s been a long time since my last post and we’ve been busy! Here are some quick updates so you know what’s going on:
Yes, we’ve left our cramped condo behind and moved into a townhouse. We are still drowning in boxes and haven’t finished decorating in the least, but we have space! And we’ve been going outdoors a lot more often, which has been so good for all of us and our moods. Speaking of nature…
When does a person become a parent?
When their first baby is born?
When they see two lines on a stick?
I think the exact moment is different for every parent, but for many people it happens as soon as they decide to have children.
That’s the problem with infertility. It’s undoubtedly one of the worst feelings in the world to lose a child — but when you’re a parent in your mind for years before ever holding your child in your arms, it’s an unseen, inward grief that I think very few people truly understand.
When I had my first baby, everyone gave me advice. “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” “Eat when the baby sleeps.” “Do housework when the baby sleeps.” “Pick up the baby when she cries.” “Don’t pick up the baby when she cries.” “Don’t give the baby a bottle.” “Get baby used to the bottle early.” And so on. But the one thing that no one really mentioned was just how much life changes when a baby enters the picture.
After my daughter was born, all of a sudden, there was a nap routine to consider. There were diaper changes and nursing sessions to plan around. There was a bed time. There were times when I couldn’t take her out because she was more likely to spit up all over herself and me and the car seat and the next door neighbours. I had to wear “nursing friendly” clothes. But on top of all that, I didn’t have time to do anything that I wanted to do. All my personal goals and ambitions took a backseat. Everything was about this little baby girl. Everyone wanted to visit her. Everyone wanted to take her picture. Everyone wanted to know how she was doing. All of a sudden, I became a supporting character in my own life story.
Well now she’s two, and I have a second little girl who’s six months old, and they fill more hands than I have, but I’m slowly starting to figure out how this is done.